Dorothy's Friend
by blakes8th
Summary: A mature little story for a Mature audience. Rated M for a reason.


Dorothy's Friend

Disclaimer: New Tricks and all it's characters belong to the BBC. I'm just playing.

Rating: M for some serious naughtyness. Swearing and sex, if you don't like, don't read past the warning between chapters.

Pairing: Come on! You know me by now. If not, Surprise!

I have been very ill for the past week, and after the emotional rollercoaster of Those who love you most, I just wanted to write a silly, fluffy story with a little bit of naughty thrown in.

/

"I'm telling you, he is."

Sandra frowned and glanced at Brian as they walked back into the UCOS office. Gerry and Jack sat on the sofa drinking tea with a packet of hobnobs open on the table, it had been Gerry's voice that they had heard. Jack was shaking his head.

"I can't see it myself." He replied. He acknowledged the other two as they came in. "Kettles just boiled." Brian went over and made a couple more coffees as Sandra put her bag in her office and came back to join them.

"Who's what?" She asked, not sure she really wanted to know the answer. Gerry looked a bit embarrased. Jack laughed.

"Go on, tell them your theory." He dared. Gerry huffed.

"It's just my opinion, that's all." He said defensively. Brian sat down with them and gave Sandra her coffee.

"Well? Don't keep us in suspense." She probed, before taking a sip of the hot liquid. Gerry sighed.

"Strickland. I was just telling Jack that I think he might be a friend of Dorothy's." Sandra spluttered on the drink.

"Who's Dorothy?" Brian asked confused. Jack laughed. Gerry rolled his eyes.

"He means Gay." Jack explained.

"What! Strickland! Nah! He was married." Brain shook his head.

"So was Michael Barrymore." Gerry countered.

"And he has two kids." Brian continued.

"Just because someones Gay, doesn't mean he's infertile." Gerry wasn't going to back down now. Sandra rolled her eyes.

"So, what do you base this on." She asked.

"Several things. Number one, he's crap at chatting up the opposite sex." Gerry replied smugly. "He used to be crap anyway, now he seems to have given up altogether."

"That doesn't mean anything, so is Sandra." Brian argued, Sandra shot him a withering look.

"He dresses nice, he always looks like he's just stepped out of the pages of a catalogue." Gerry continued, ignoring Brian's last comment.

"Again, so does Sandra." Jack replied. Sandra shot daggers at him this time.

"And..." Gerry pretended he hadn't been interupted, "He drives a very nice car.."

"If anyone say's 'so does Sandra' I'll ram a hobnob up their ar..." Sandra was interupted by Gerry.

"Ok, well he smells nice. That collogne he wears, that's some expensive stuff. A straight bloke wouldn't wear that to work."

"That's true, he does smell good." Sandra agreed. The boys all looked at her. "What? I spend most of my time surrounded by the mixed aroma of fags, wet dog and ibuleve." She paused. "Is that it? That's your argument?"

"Well, yeah, but there's other little things, the way he walks, the way he talks. Always trying to be 'one of the blokes', but not quite succeeding." Gerry looked a bit embarrased now.

"He's not gay." Sandra stood and rinsed her cup out in the sink. Gerry looked at her.

"How can you be so sure." He asked. "You willing to put money on it?"

"I just know." She answered.

"Women have a better intuition about these things." Brian agreed.

"Ha! Twenty quid says he is." Gerry huffed.

"Fifty and your on." Sandra crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. "Unless you're going to back out." Gerry bristled.

"Deal!" He nodded.

"Trouble is," Jack interupted "I don't see how you you can prove it one way or another."

"Oh that's easy." Sandra stated, nodding towards window, "We can ask him." They all turned and saw the object of the discussion through the glass of the door, he pushed it open and entered with a cheery "Morning."

"Morning sir!" The three boys chorused, making him stop in his tracks, he looked around at each of them, suspiciously.

"Morning sir." Sandra smiled. He still felt a little bit uncomfortable, but continued into the office.

"How's the case coming?" He asked. Still a bit nervous, something was definately off.

"Fine, Brian and I have just come from interviewing the victims sister, Jack and Gerry are going through the original witness statements. Everything's in hand."

"Good. Good. Um, I'll leave you to it then." He smiled and started to retreat from the office.

"Sir!" Sandra's call stopped him. "The boys have a question."

"Of course, ask away." He was more than a little bit nervous now, and from the look the three men were thowing at each other, so were they.

There was a moment of silence as they UCOS team looked at each other.

"Oh for goodness sakes!" Sandra exclaimed, "The boys want to know if you are gay."

You could have heard an ant sneeze in the moments that followed. Gerry, Jack and Brian all looked everywhere but the faces of either of their bosses. Eventually, Strickland managed to find his voice.

"Umm, No. No I'm not." He answered "Why."

"Just Gerry's gaydar malfunctioning." She told him, she was trying to smother the laughter which was threatening to escape.

"Oh, umm, ok. Well I'd best get back." He stumbled and started to leave. He stopped at the door and turned back to the group. "In the boat club, there's this chap, his name is Benny. If you want Gerry, I could introduce you." He had to try to suppress the smile which was threatening to split his face in two at the shock on Gerry's face.

"No! No, that's fine, really." Gerry stuttered.

"Ok, well let me know if you change your mind. See you all later." With that, he left. As the door swung shut, Sandra, Jack and Brian erupted into fits of laughter.

"Oi! It's not funny! He thinks I'm light on my loafers now."

"Benny and Gerry! It's got a nice ring to it." Jack teased.

"I'm going for a fag!" Gerry huffed.

"Hey! Fifty quid, remember." Sandra crossed her arms. Gerry looked like a deer caught in headlights. "I tell you what, why don't we all go for a curry tonight, you can pay for me."

"Sounds good." Jack nodded, Brian smiled.

"Great."

"Yeah, yeah. Alright. No more gay stuff though, ok."

"Ok... Lovey." They all laughed, Gerry shook his head and grinned before retreating to the fire escape.

/ WARNING, WARNING, M RATED PAST THIS POINT! DON'T LIKE - DON'T READ.

It was past eleven in the evening when Sandra finally got back to her flat. The meal had been fun, and it hadn't cost her a penny. She kicked off her shoes in the hallway and put her bag on the side. She made her way upstairs, peeling away her clothes as she went and got straight into the shower, washing away the day. She stood under the hot jets of water, letting the streams massage her shoulders and back. After a few minutes, she turned the water off and towelled herself dry, she wrapped the towel around her and went to her bedroom, she didn't bother with lights, the moonlight filtering through the blinds shed enough illumination to find her way around. She threw the towel over the radiator and made her way to the bed, sliding under the covers alongside the warm body which was waiting for her. He rolled onto his back, putting his arm out straight, allowing her to snuggle into his side, he wrapped his arm back around her, caressing her back. She toyed with the light hair on his chest.

"Good night?" Robert asked. She smiled.

"Yes, it was. But it's much nicer coming home now." She pushed herself up, resting on one arm. "I did feel a bit guilty, making Gerry pay though."

"He made the bet. Not your fault you won."

"Yes, but when I made the bet, I had inside knowledge, didn't I" She smiled, gently trailing her fingers across his stomach.

"Do I come across as gay?" He asked her. She laughed.

"Only in the fantastical world of Gerry Standing. Evidently, if you look good, smell good, have a nice car, and don't chat up everything in a skirt, then you must be gay." She explained. He laughed.

"You could have just described yourself, you know."

"Bloody hell, perhaps we're both gay!" She grinned.

"Well, that's alright then isn't it." He smiled back, running his hands up her back and across her shoulders, then back down to cup her bottom, she sighed, leaning in for a passionate kiss. He pulled her down onto his chest, deeping the kiss. She reached behind and captured his hands, she pinned them to the pillows above his head and sat astride him, breaking the kiss she smiled seductively at him.

"If we're both gay, wouldn't that make me the masculine one?"

"Whatever you say sir." He replied smiling. She released his hands, and gently scraped her nails across his nipples, he inhaled sharply, bringing his hands up to her breasts, squeezing and teasing her nipples, before he sat up and took one into his mouth, using his tongue to drive her mad, while he worked the other with his hand. After a few minutes, he swapped sides, driving her to the edge all over again, all the time this was happening, She had reached one hand around her back and was teasing his length, until she couldn't stand it anymore. She made him lay back on the bed.

"I need you now." She told him, her voice deep and throaty. He placed one hand between them where their bodies met, testing her readiness by sliding two fingers inside her, he caressed her nub with his thumb, she threw her head back as he brought her to her climax. She rested against him as she came back to earth. He rubbed her back kissing her forehead, she looked up at him, smiling as she sat back up, she lifted herself back up and positioned herself above him. He put his hands on her hips and supported her as she took his member in her hand and guided herself down onto him, taking his full length inside her. He closed his eyes and bit his bottom lip as she started to ride him, holding back as long as he could until he couldn't resist any longer and started to thrust up in time with her, she loved watching him as they made love, he had such an expressive face, she started to feel him pick up the pace, his thrusts getting more urgent. He opened his eyes, the normally deep blue had darkened, almost to black.

"Oh God Yes!" He whispered, she threw her head back, going over the edge for the second time, as he thrust up for the last time and emptied into her. He held onto her moving gently with her as she came down whispering to her soothingly, holding her against his chest as she shuddered. She made to move, but he kissed her and held her firm.

"Shhh, stay there, it's fine." He whispered, still breating hard.

"I don't want to crush you." She answered.

"You're not. You know, I don't think I'm gay after all." He smiled, "I love you far too much."

"That's good, because I don't think I'm gay either. If I was, I wouldn't love you as much as I do." She agreed. He moved gently, sliding out slightly before pushing back. He hardened again inside her. He rolled her over onto her back and started to thrust, harder this time, she arched her back.

"Ohhh Yesss, harder!" She cried. He pushed himself onto his knees, and hooked her legs over his thighs. He held onto her hips and started to pound into her, as hard and as fast as he could, she threw her head back and fisted her hands into the bed sheets.

"OHHH Fuck! Yes!" She cried as a thousand little fireworks went off behind her eyes, she tensed and had her third and most intense climax of the night. He thrust a few more times, before following her. He lowered her legs to the bed and settled himself between her legs, moving in and out gently as she came back to her senses, he supported his weight on his forearms and kissed her softly, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and held him as their heart rates started to return to normal, and he softened and slipped out of her. He rolled onto his back, taking her with him, she snuggled against him as he wrapped his arms around her, pulling the covers over their rapidly cooling bodies.

"Jeez, that was amazing." She told him a few minutes later when she had regained the ability to speak.

"Your amazing." He told her, his voice soft. He looked at her thoughtfully.

"What's wrong?" She asked him.

"I was just wondering how far you would have gone to convince Gerry I wasn't gay, would you have told him about us?" He asked. She kissed him gently.

"I will tell them soon. But if Gerry hadn't believed me, yes I think I would have told him. Does the thought of them knowing bother you?"

He pulled her closer and kissed her passionately, a bone melting, reality stopping, time means nothing type of kiss. He paused only to tell her;

"The only thing that bothers me is the thought of not waking up next to you."

/

Author's note; Whew! That's the hottest thing I've ever written, still pretty tame compared to others out there in the world of fanfic, but I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as Sandra and Robert enjoyed me writing it. xxx ;-D


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